We make thousands of decisions everyday without even realizing it. We decide to get up in the morning, we decide to brush our teeth and comb our hair. Heck, we even decide to pee on the toilet!

When it comes to eating healthy or just eating less, it’s a choice.  We have to decide when to stop.  It’s a hard decision when that voice inside of you is telling you to just keep eating…just one more bite…

I’m 4 days sober from bingeing. I made conscious decisions to not binge for the last 4 days, and I feel great. I also decided to weigh myself today, and I was .5lbs down. Yahoo! Now I know .5 is not much, but it was the encouragement I needed to not binge today. I don’t want to see the scale go back up.

Tonight I’m heading out to dinner with the other Leaders of the youth group for a ‘Thankyou Dinner’ planned by the Youth Pastor.  We’re going to a delicious Pizza place near where I live, and I’m deciding to only eat one piece of pizza. If I’m still hungry, I can drink water and eat a healthy snack when I get home. I’m deciding to make tonight about my friends and not about the food.

There. Decision made!

I don’t feel like working out.  I know how AMAZING I feel afterwards, but I’m struggling to actually make myself go and do it.  I planned on doing a 5 mile run or so today, but I’m feeling extra lazy.

At 1 I have discipleship with my friend Amy, and I am so excited to see what God will teach me today. Maybe that time will get me fired up!

Here’s to hopefully running this afternoon.

How to you pep yourself up to go workout? I could use some motivation…

P.S I am 2 days sober from bingeing…let’s make today #3!

I decided to weigh myself on Monday morning. I was up 1.5lbs. ONLY. I was actually encouraged by this. From Aunt Flo to my weekend bingeing, that was a very good number.

I officially have 17 days until I wanted to be at my goal. Easy enough to say, I will probably not get there, but I will not give up. I can still lose 5 or so lbs. And I will.

Josie over at http://apjosie.blogspot.com is having the same trouble I am: bingeing.  We’re now in this together.  I am really excited for someone else to converse with about this awful stronghold.

Working out has been great! I worked out Saturday and Monday. I will run again tomorrow and lift weights/do some abs.  I’m hoping to work out everyday from now on, but today I had 3 different meetings with little time in between to hit the gym.

Last but not least, I am SO excited with how God has blessed me recently! I am officially going to the Dominican Republic for spring break on a mission trip with my church (my first mission trip EVER!), AND I was offered a summer internship through my church. How awesome is that?

Now if I can just kick this sinful behavior of bingeing, life would be so much easier…

Eat well everyone!

The past three nights haven’t been great.  They haven’t been awful, but I’ve consumed way more than I should’ve. Oh and Aunt Flo? Yea, she’s here too.  Crummy, icky weather all weekend mixed with my crummy icky eating led to a bleh weekend.

On the up-side, I got to hang out with 2 girls from the youth group on Friday night, and we made gingerbread houses! (Hence the snacking Friday night…) While we were building, I received a call from the head pastor of my church, asking me if I’d be willing to share my testimony on Sunday morning. I was SO excited!

Last night, though, I couldn’t get my testimony to sound smooth. I’ve given it numerous times, as it’s a great story, but I was just off.  And then my frustrations led to eating, surprise….This morning went off without a hitch, and I was told by numerous people that I made them cry. Such a sweet story God has blessed me with!

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When I was in high school, I did weight watchers with a girl on my soccer team to trim a few pounds before our season started, and it was almost easy to do.  Having someone go through the same process you are makes it that much easier.  Right now, I feel alone. I feel like I am doing this by myself. Besides God, which is ultimately the only One I truly need, I am in this journey alone.

Tomorrow is Monday. Weigh In day. I’m kind of thinking about skipping it. With my period and that awful weekend, I’d rather not get down on myself. I’d rather just move on and do better next week.  Speaking of tomorrow…tomorrow is my last final, and I’m done with school for the semester. I have to stay at my University for an extra 10 days, though, as I am an RA. I’ve contemplated using it as a time of hardcore training. Like a 10 day cleanse almost. Workout hard, eat healthy, and pray/pray/pray.  I read my bible almost everyday, but I want to really delve into it during this holiday season.

So what do you think? Should I hit it hard for the next 10 days until I go home? What else can I do to help my bingeing/weight loss?

Here it goes:

black coffee-0

1 chicken breast-3

white rice/cheese-9

green beans-0

sub sandwich-4

baked lays-2

coffee-0

granola bar-2

TOTAL: 20 POINTS.

perfect.

I’ve also given up soda until Christmas. I’m a sucker for a diet coke or a diet dr. pepper, but no more!

Today I ran 3 miles on the treadmill and did a little bit of free weights. I honestly feel amazing.

I’m all showered and back in my sweatpants (it’s finals week at my University). I need to be productive. And not blog.

But here I am, excited about a new day. A day God blessed me with to serve His Kingdom.

I’ll be posting back tonight what I ate because remember, accountability is a major part of this!

I hate when I binge. All it does is make me feel awful.  Why do I do it? I have no idea.

ok, I think that was a conversation with myself…

Moving on. I am probably going to start posting my daily food intake on here. I need a bit more accountability.  The people around me want to help, but if they’re not trying to lose weight/stop bingeing, they forget. They don’t understand what I’m going through. Not that I’m upset with them, but my readers are all I’ve got, not counting God, of course.  But God created us for community. He wants us to help each other. I wish I had a few more followers, but for those 2-3 of you that comment regularly, I’m very appreciative.

I was thinking last night as I watched the Biggest Loser about the girl in the yellow.  She only lost 12 lbs in 6 weeks. She said the first couple of weeks at home were hard, which I totally understand….but if you KNOW that ALL OF AMERICA WILL BE WATCHING YOUR WEIGH IN ON TV, wouldn’t you really try harder??

Accountability, people. That’s what I need.

I lost 1 pound this week. I’m not excited but I’m not upset either 🙂

Here are some reasons….these are not excuses-I’ll use these as a list of things to change for this week :

1. Wasn’t exact in counting POINTS, just stayed away from bingeing…kind of a big thing, ‘eh?

2. Haven’t worked out since my half marathon….I’m going to try to work out 3-4x before my next weigh-in.

Those two things will change this week, and I’m excited to be on the right path! Also, I think Aunt Flo will be here within the next week or so, and something you don’t know is that the worst 2 symptoms I get are cravings (which is fine if I don’t act, just makes for a hard night…) and I gain about 5lbs. :-\ (I lose it after She leaves, but it’s frustrating…)

I really don’t want to gain the next 2 weeks, so I may cut down on my intake if I start to feel like I’m blowing up. Mehhh

Have a great week! I’m off to work out and then I’m babysitting a 1.5 and a 4 year old over night. Wish me luck!

Last night was our Youth Sleepover for youth kids I lead at church.  Fifteen middle/high school girls (leaders included) slipped into our onesie pajamas…for me it was more of a bathrobe kind of night… and spent an entire night laughing, giggling, and EATING.

Well, not exactly…you see, I was in control. Not the food. I ate a piece of frozen pizza and a handful of Cheese Nips, pretzels and M&M’s…and that’s all! That’s next to NOTHING compared to what was there. It started at 8pm and we were up til around 2am.  I am SO excited that I spent my time focusing on the girls rather than the food.  I feel SO good knowing I can have self-control.  Knowing that even if the scale doesn’t move tomorrow, I’m beating this bingeing disorder. I’ll leave you with some pictures from our night….

I'm in the middle...these are 2 of my co-leaders and good friends.

Two sweet girls!

And the infamous dog pile, in which I was on the bottom...

Be back tomorrow morning for a weigh-in! Dun dun dun…

Yup. One year from now I’ll be graduating college, weird. But oh, so exciting.

Two nights ago I was bitten my something, and I’m assuming it was while I was sleeping. (Yes, bed bugs I have considered, but I have no idea what it actually was.) Anyway, I finally took some Benadryl after 2 days of having a sore, itchy thigh.  I took it last night at 10:15, and couldn’t pull myself out of bed until 12 today. Are you kidding me!?!? Noon? I don’t remember the last time I slept until 9, less yet NOON???

Anyways, here I sit, drowsy as can be, not wanting to do anything but blog. I have a project I must finish today, and a Christmas Party tonight. Bleh. I will not take Benadryl ever again, unless it’s a life or death (in which case I should probably go to the hospital anyway….)

So anyway, enough ranting.  I have a point.

Since I slept until noon, I’ll probably eat less today.  I have been thinking about that a lot. I think if I get to bed earlier and wake up a bit later (aka get all of my work done the night before), I’ll eat less.  If I’m sleeping, I can’t be eating, right? Anyway, I think I’ll try to get to bed a bit earlier…before the late night munchies set in.